The Lunchtime Battleground

Warning: Smoking causes Irritable Bloggers.

Do Non Smokers Have Rights

Where to smoke?As a non smoker – OK you dragged it out of me – a reformed smoker! I have become frustrated giving up only to inhale the fumes without the filter.

Yes, it’s a rave. Yes, I know there is nowhere else to smoke. Yes, smokers have a right to smoke (currently). But why is it I have to share?

Reclaiming the Corners

There are only a handful of spots in the city, within a reasonable proximity, that would be a nice place to sit down and eat lunch. Yet I never ordered smoked sandwiches!

What is it about the die hard smokers today? When I was a smoker I was considerate of others – even I didn’t like to eat lunch with cigarette smoke being blown all over me.

For the third time in the past couple of weeks my lunch has been overwhelmed by the inundation of smokers.

Come on, give a guy a break – can’t I occupy a small corner of the city without being encapsulated by a cocoon of smoke?

The Sounds of Battle

As Sydney continues its stroll through the winter months, a patch of sun is proving the battleground for lunchtime activities.

But how do I compete? The chomping on a sandwich does not seem to phase my neighbouring smoker. As they exhale a waft of fumes the best I can do is eat with my mouth open! Maybe a loud belch would do it? Flatulence?

Give me land, lots of land …

I do empathise with the narrowing scope of designated smoking areas. Even the pubs are off limit.

Sure smokers have the right to smoke. Sure the outdoors is the last bastion.

But how about our non smoking rights? How about the decency to wait for me to at least finish my mouthful?

Is it too much to ask for a small sanctuary of scenic land in the city where I can breathe the fresh air of car exhaust, air conditioner outlets and all the other inner city fumes without the addition of cigarette smoke?

There must be others. There must be supporters who are sick of cowering behind their desk silently eating their vegemite sandwiches staring aimlessly at the swirly screensaver.

It’s time to make a stand! It’s time to step up! It’s time to take back our city streets, our doorways and the virtually extinct city bench!

Arise You Lunchtime Warriors

But how are we to reclaim our corners? Compete for the sacred place? Two words … Whoopie cushions.

We may not be able to flatulate in public but mock flatulence may work. Next time you are invaded by a throng of smokers let loose the whoopie cushion!

Disclaimer: Public flatulence is ill advised

11 responses to “The Lunchtime Battleground

  1. Quit bitching

  2. Really? Well my attempt at humour was obviously lost on you. But I will continue to “bitch” in an attempt to have a laugh at ourselves! 🙂

  3. The problem is there are less and less places for smokers to indulge. I am reformed too, in the UK you have to be. I found out a pint of beer costs £3 yesterday! I’m a reformed drinker too! A pint every night costs well over £1,000 a year! Cigarettes are about £6 a packet and so that is silly money! I don’t see many smokers now, except my brother who lurks outside my back door once a week. I occasionally see them gathering in corners outside of hospitals like criminals in the exercise yard. It was hell giving up, but well worth it. I may be a wreck but I’m an alcohol and nicotine free wreck!

    • Thanks Mike, In Aus I think cigarettes are up near $20 per pack. But you are right smokers have been forced to almost act like criminals just to get a smoke.

  4. Hey Corri,

    My work place is pretty interesting. There is a spot designated for smokers that is 20 feet away from my building. Do smokers use it, no. Ultimately I walk through a cloud of smoke to get in and out of work. Initially it was a bit disturbing but 2 years in I’m almost numb to it.

    I get your humor in this piece and I’m glad you wrote it. It shows just how much the perspective on second hand smoke has changed and how weird it is to understand, but not like, how other people are impacting your day. I’ve never smoked but I’ve went through phases where I grew accustomed to smoke-filled places. I’m so laid back that I’ve never thought to write about my perspective on smoking.

    I really enjoyed your thoughts. Glad I stopped by.

    • Hey Jermaine, the piece is more tongue in cheek than my real view on cigarettes. I thought it would be fun to parody the battle over real estate at lunchtime and it’s more a perspective of watching others than first hand experience. 🙂

  5. Oh I remember in my university when students used to smoke in non-smoking area. It kinda was annoying and yet hilarious that they were so insensitive to not just the rules but other students. I am not a smoker and so like smokers have right to smoke, I have right to refuse smoking, Even secondhand smoking. I am adding a youtube link of an Indian ad on Secondhand smoking…It is so funny yet so expressive of our feelings…Its in Hindi but there are subtitles below so you can slow it down and watch it..if needed.


    • Hey Neha, I’m not specifically against smokers – like you just don’t wish to smoke. As Jermaine said, it’s a tough topic to broach without putting a few peoples noses out of joint. I’ll try something more tame next time 😛

  6. you were the biggest smoker eva corri!

  7. haha! Love. This.
    I do have to say, as a reformed smoker myself who loved loved loved smoking! I still love the smell of cigarette smoke, my biggest concern is mostly that I don’t understand how people can still be smoking knowing what we do about the dangers of it. I’m a nurse. I’m certain 99% of my very sick patients are all people who smoke…ok, climbing off my soapbox and ducking away before the tomatoe throwing begins….

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