Tag Archives: humor

Australian Coat of Arms

The Kangaroo and Emu

Standing astride our national coat of arms are the Kangaroo and the Emu. National symbols of pride? Of our unique culture and Australian fauna?

No, the kangaroo and emu form part of our leading food sources! Are there other nations that treat their nationally recognised coat of arms as good tucker?

The UK coat of arms boasts a lion and a unicorn – so can assume they don’t eat those. Henry VIII had a dragon and a dog … again don’t think it formed part of their daily cuisine. In the US, it’s the bald eagle … endangered species and highly protected.

But here in good ole Oz we take our national symbols of pride and proudly serve them on the dinner plate!

You got to love the Aussie way!

Oh 2012 Already

Has anyone else suddenly woke up to see it’s nigh on half way through January?

For that matter have I missed the boat? Happy new year …

2012 has started off at such a pace I can almost feel Easter!

I hope to write a blog or two a week – but damn this year is moving fast.

Is it just me or are others watching the Fridays arrive at a speed that is scarily fast?

The Law of Supply

It’s funny when you have an abundance of something how you squander it so quickly. For Christmas I received some after shave – the former bottle barely lasting with drops extended for weeks – yet

now a new bottle – well I’m a walking perfumery! Splashing here and there as if it were infinite.

Time appears like this too – when I was in my teens, my twenties, gees staying in bed till afternoon seemed reasonable enough. Now I couldn’t possibly squander that many hours.

Increasingly days are treasured, moments and events held onto.

The Year of the Dragon

In the Chinese calendar we’re about to enter the year of the dragon … Not sure of the significance of this, but for me it’s year of the dog.

As of new year we’re now owners of a rescued dog – beagle cross boxer.

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As you can imagine kids love it and for me it forces exercise every night!

And so I’ve returned to the blogosphere, albeit not triumphantly with profound words of wisdom but still it’s a start. So happy new year readers and hope to chat more in 2012.

All Things Orange

Today is the day for orange, a self proclaimed day of honour for the oft forgotten colour ORANGE.

For too long black, blue, red and, yes even, brown have dominated our homes, our work environments and our fashion.

But it’s time for change, time for renewed vigor, action … It’s time for ORANGE!

Do You Like Orange?

Orange, actually is named after the fruit, it’s synomynous with the Dutch, fanta, and a spray tan gone wrong. It’s the colour of the Golden Gate Bridge, it’s sunsets, the flowering Banksia, and safety gear.

Without orange we would just have stop and go – no speed up or slow down.

The amber ale, the amber stone, agate … and what about the entire district of Orange, NSW. Or the flags of Ireland, India, Niger and Cote d’Ivoire. It’s the national colour of Holland – the heir apparent is the Prince of Orange.

Oh, and of course the foods, oranges, carrots, mangoes, apricots, papaya, pumpkin, sweet potato, peaches, persimmons and tangerines.

Facts About Orange

Did you know that orange only became orange in the middle ages? The first recorded (written) reference as a colour was in 1512. It really is named after the fruit! Before this it was referred to as yellow-red.

Other facts about orange:

  • The Golden Gate Bridge is painted with Deluxe International Orange
  • Orange (or deep saffron) is the most sacred colour of Hinduism
  • On the Indian flag orange represents courage, sacrifice and the spirit of renunciation

The Colour Orange

Orange is associated with halloween, Thanksgiving, Autumn (or fall for the Americans), it’s vibrant and considered an energetic colour.

Sitting right between red and yellow, orange is associated with excitement, enthusiasm and warmth. It is also linked with food, not only fruit, but ripening crops and considered a food stimulating colour.

Interestingly orange is also a polarising colour, you love it or hate it. It’s the attention colour, the stand out – it’s why in the States they clothe prisoners in it.

Spare a Moment for Orange

I ask you take a time to ponder the colour orange, to give this attention seeking yet polarising hue just a moment of your time. Does it elicit joy, warmth and excitement? Or do you just see the moment between red and green at the traffic lights? The work crew at a construction site? Or worse, the Annoying Orange!

So, with Halloween just gone, Thanksgiving on the way, and a friend’s orange t-shirt whisked away due to a perceived fashion faux pas I proclaim November 22nd as Orange Day.

The Morning Train

Are you a commuter? Jumping on public transport to get to and from work?

I’m amazed that we can squeeze so many people in such a confined space yet not say a word.

In fact we’re more likely to be texting, calling, blogging than meeting new people.

Sure the environment doesn’t lend itself to developing long term relationships – but I’m sure there must be stories of meeting your wife or forming a great friendship all seeded during a commute to work.

Not me though, it’s Angry Birds or Traffic Rush, maybe a podcast or some music – anything but start a conversation with the person next to you!

The Commuter Challenge

I must admit, there is something of a voyeur in me, I do enjoy sitting in the seat at the end of the carriage and for fun seeing how many people I can make eye contact with.

I think it’s time to break the ice, the commuter challenge or icebreakers – maybe start singing a the Albert Hammond song – I’m A Train, or call out “GROUP HUG”. Surely we cancome up with some great commuter icebreakers and lighten the mood of the train ride!

Guessing by now you’re glad you don’t ride on my train.

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An SEO Guide for Google

This won’t be an extensive post, after all, are there rules on how long a post should be?

Is there a minimum?

Already I’m past 20 words and counting … how many more before it’s a legitimate post?

This wasn’t started as a ramble … but has become one. In fact a short post by me apparently is impossible.

Oh, Get to the Point!

The whole reason for this post was a small dig at the optimisation team at Google. In fact, I’m wondering whether to offer them my services to enable the to improve on their results?

After all … if you are Google what would you expect to rank well for?

Umm, how about “Search Engine”?

Keyword: Search Engine

So I’ve typed in “search engine” and sure enough … position 1 … is

  • Dogpile
  • Wikipedia
  • BING!!!!
  • Google

I’m thinking maybe Google need to consider their SEO skills, maybe they should try and create a backlinking strategy? I wonder if they are short on content?

Maybe I should set them up a directory listing!

No More Big Banana

Big Banana Coffs HarbourAustralia is home to the Big Banana, it’s the staple of every shopping trolley and features in lunch packs of children throughout the nation. In fact Australians love their bananas so much they compete with Coca Cola for the number 1 product sold by supermarkets week in week out.

Well that was the case until flaming bananas skyrocketed to $14.00 plus per kg. For the American audience that’s around US$30 per pound.

Prices per banana, one single banana, now range upwards of $2.00 each – well that settles the daily lunches. Better start enjoying a good red delicious apple at $2.49 per kilo!

Going Bananas

I know this is a bit of a rant, but food prices are absolutely going through the roof. It’s not just bananas, it’s the overall food bill – to eat fresh produce is incredibly expensive.

For the same $2 it costs to get a banana I can purchase the Double Beef ‘n’ Cheese hamburger at McDonalds. Surely this is a much more preferred option for our children’s lunch boxes!

Ridiculous statement I know, but you get the point. Total fat in a banana – a whopping 1 gram, in the McDonalds Double Beef n Cheese hamburger – a modest 23.4 grams. But it’s 5 cents cheaper than the average banana!

While bananas get smaller we’re getting bigger.

The Case of the Missing Bananas

Quite obviously the plight of Australian bananas has been subject to Cyclone Yasi: the crops were wiped out, limited supply – same demand – increased price. Simple economics

Yet who is the recipient of these huge margins, the bananas that are left certainly didn’t cost more to produce, they didn’t cost more to transport, nor to pack or store. So where is the additional $9 – 11 per kilo going?

Oh to be altruistic and suggest the additional costs are going back into the rural communities that were destroyed. That cockey’s are getting together to rebuild their farms on the back of the generosity of the major supermarkets. That the Country Women’s Association are receiving sizable grants in support.

Call me skeptical, call me naive, but I’m guessing there hasn’t been much of a boost in the donations to CWA.

Well they say it only takes a few weeks to form a habit. How long can these prices sustain? I can only imaging the wastage that’s occurring – very few people are putting bananas in their trolley now.

Some Banana Facts

So farewell to our bananas, the love of our nation, the Big Banana in Coffs Harbour, the wonderful herb growing plants that produce this golden, sometimes purple fruit!

Did you know …

  • Banana plants are the largest plants on Earth without a woody stem. Belong to the same family as orchids and lillies.
  • India is the largest producer of Bananas in the world
  • There are over 500 varieties of bananas including purple ones
  • They grow bananas in Iceland … seriously, Google it!
  • Fidel Castro’s dad was a banana plantation owner.

All in all I’m not going bananas anymore! I’m moving onto oranges, at least in Australia they are now in season.